Thursday, October 05, 2006

A few childhood memories...

Hey! Hello! I am back…with no bang burst or ripple! Quietly…very quietly.
This post is about me.

There was one day when I was born and then I went to school. Many schools, actually (now, don't tell me "so what? everyone goes to school" because I know that. I just wanted to mention it, alright?). I wanted to talk to someone about all this. Only to her. But then, her internet wasn’t working properly (flip side of technology, you see? Tch tch tch...) and throughout the day I don’t have the time to talk. It’s only late at night when she is either busy or sleeping (what else do you think normal humans, unlike me, do?)

Now…getting back to the thing I was talking about. ME. Me, as a kid.
There were plenty of incidents of childhood that have stayed with me throughout. I was never very physically mischievous as a kid but there was plenty of mischief that was pumped into me!

There was this once when someone in the class had taken my home-work note book and when the teacher was checking the work, I couldn’t find it. It was weird. She didn’t listen to me and started rapping me on the knuckles (yeow! That hurt) and till my patience barrier was up (and it’s generally not very high, except for certain people. Those for whom it is, will understand this line) I bore the rapping and then I bit her with all the strength my little frame (how tall do you expect a six-year-old to be, anyway!) could muster! Must say I left quite a prominent mark! Was, needless to say, told to get out of the class. And I did. I wasn’t taking injustice for anything! The worst though, was yet to come because my mother happened to be a teacher in the school and when the news reached her, I was called to the staff room. Yes, I had SOME support I thought and went jumping. But there the tables had been turned and I got this resounding, impression leaving, one cracker of a slap from my mom! That long, straight mop of hair on my head went flying in all directions! Christ, that was insane! Next exam, I scored the highest in the teacher’s paper and I could see the invisible slap on her face when she handed me my paper. The subject, by the way, was the scary, haunting one called Mathematics. I still hate the subject (it’s a different thing that my dad loves it. Who says all sons take after their dads?)

Then again, there was this lunch thing that our school followed because they felt that the kids should have steaming hot lunch (it was a different thing though, that the lunch, by the time it reached us, was cold!) so there was this huge, massive water tank that provided for the water requirements. So, little band of naughty kids that we were…we jumped in to the pool (or tank) and went for a swim. That too, we were fully dressed in chocolate shorts with suspenders and white shirt. Boy! Was that an experience or what…nobody ever knew! And invariably I became the hero since I led the band! Mischief galore eh?

Then there was another time when we had a competition called getting ready for school. The school uniform was piled at the end of the track and the kids had to run (wearing their under wears) to the end of the track and wear the uniform and get back. Yikes! That was, when I look back at it, pretty embarrassing! Anyway, kids are kids and we were really thrilled about the thing. The day dawned and we took our places on the track. I had rolled up my socks for easy wearing. Bang! Fired the gun and off we were! I reached my pile of clothes second. But was quicker (I am always fast at putting on and taking off clothes. No pun intended) in getting dressed. So I put my shirt, shorts and socks on and was confused for a split second about whether to wear my left shoe first or the right one! Scratch…scratch…I stood there thinking. Then I saw the guy beside me putting on the socks. Panic hit my gut. I sat down and pushed both the feet into the shoes (isn’t that adorable, now?) and tied the laces. Turned around and ran…
A step away from the finishing line…plonk…plonk…off came both the buttons of my suspender straps (that’s precisely why I dislike suspenders.) and when I stopped, they hung like a the tails of a two tailed ape. I was a little confused…what the hell?! But then, the judges thought that I was good enough to win the first prize and hence it was given to me! Yippee! And there is another one…(please read that…please!! I promise I won’t bore you.)

I told you about this hot lunch funda, didn’t I? We also had milk served with that. Now, I always loved milk…still do. Now, we had this huge class of 40 kids and on that particular day…most of them were absent. But the jugs of milk had arrived. And our class teacher’s son (who was four years our senior) had come down that day because his classes had been done with earlier. So…a challenge came up. Who could beat him in drinking milk? Hey…how could I not take up such a call?! So I listened to my inner voice and it said “go. Do it” and so I went ahead. First glass. Then the second. Then third. Fourth followed. By the ninth, he was out and I continued. Beat him by a jug and three glasses! Yikes! And even more surprising, I digested all that without ANY problem! After that, it wasn’t uncommon to hear mothers say…”see? You should be like him. He drinks milk!”
Boy what a feeling that was! And there was this one day when a pup (one of the six that the bitch in the school had delivered) wandered off and sat right under the truck that was carrying construction material for an upcoming apartment. I for some unknown reason, am an absolute animal lover (lizards and cockroaches are the only exceptions). So I crawled under the truck and tried enticing the pup with a biscuit. Those days, since I was too young to handle big sums of money, I was given a few rupees to spend once in a while. So that day I had only a buck left on me (sheesh…that’s very little when I look back at it) so I bought a loose biscuit for the pup and tried to bring him out. That freaking obstinate idiot just wouldn’t listen! So I got right under the damned truck and caught hold of it. Gently. As I was about to crawl out, I heard the engine rev to life. Shit! Now what? I screamed in the hope that the driver might just listen but he probably couldn’t hear a thing (just like that girl who never listens to me and is probably reading this right now). The huge monster of a truck started moving and since I was between the wheels, I couldn’t get out either way! Plus the poor pup would have died (not that he would have survived sitting under the wheel anyway but still…) with me! Luckily this woman who was working on the site saw a white school uniform and screamed out to the driver. The truck stopped millimeters from my head. For a second I couldn’t believe I was alive and then I crawled out and gave her a candy that got that day in the class. I mean, as it was, I was six and on top of that, broke. What could one expect a broke six-year old to do to show gratitude??? She burst out laughing, showing a set of tobacco stained teeth. Yikes! That WAS sort of…umm…let’s say…scary. So I ran off with the pup and put it in my bag. I still remember my mom shriek at the sight of something moving in my bag. Then she opened it to find a pup jump out and pee on the sofa! He got away with it and I got the hiding. Strange divine justice, must say! Irony of life. Anyway…the pup stayed on for a few days and then I thought that if I am away from my mom, I would miss her and so maybe even he was missing his mom. So I carried it all the way back to school and gave it to the mother. I think I saw the mother smile at the sight of the pup. Do dogs smile? I don’t know…might have been an illusion.

Have plenty of such incidents to narrate…but I am running out of time and space. The other incidents are just for you to share lady…if you have the time and the inclination to know (this is person specific and all other ladies ignore this statement PLEASE!). all the while that I wrote this…I missed you. Throughout all these years, because of many incidents and company, somewhere I had lost the small joys of life. Now I am back. And hope…the person who got me back on track (rather, for whom I came back on track) comes back to me! Amen. No no…it’s of course not my mom because the she has already given up on me! This will be surprise even for her! So…I am not all that bad eh?!
Scratch…wonder…wonder! Missed you baby.

And for all the patient readers (the ones who have survived the ordeal of having read this ENTIRE post), you deserve a Nobel people! Till next time then…

Adios.

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