Saturday, January 05, 2008

simmering pot...


I am sitting at the airport right now waiting to take my flight to Kolkata. Among the many things that I am doing right now out of sheer boredom, is thinking. And my mind is strange so when I think, naturally the thoughts are equally bizarre! Since it is 3.30 in the morning, a lot of people have decided to park themselves on the chairs and sofas here. Some of them are sound asleep! That made me think. I was thinking about dreams.

It is a weird thing…when one sinks deep into the lap of slumber, the subconscious mind takes over. Abstract thoughts rise and fall, sometimes without us even realizing it! A long and defined dream is rare…at least for me I guess. It is amazing how dreams transport people into a land they haven’t been to before. There are places, people, incidents which might have never happened but still appear during slumber time. The indigenous mind conjures up images rising completely out of figments of imagination. And interestingly, if the dream is about something that has never happened, at least until now, then the faces of people who form a part of that dream are generally blurred or not seen at all! Pretty much like a suspense movie where the identity of the protagonist or antagonist is not revealed until the end. It looks like the viewers will just see the face but then all of a sudden…the scene changes or is cut. The same holds true for dreams too! A glimpse of a hand, clothes, body…but never…or at least rarely the face.

But there is something that is even more difficult to understand. That is, the occurrence of incidents that a person had dreamt about or visit to a certain that appears in a person’s dream but he or she has never been there before! It has happened to me and hence I guess I am all the more freaked out by it. I went to this certain cathedral when I had visited Goa for the first time. Now, since that was my first visit to Goa, needless to say, I had obviously never been to the cathedral before! Still, as soon as I was there, I instinctively knew the way around and which door led to which passage. I know it sounds creepy but I am not making this up. It was absolutely like the cathedral I had seen in my dream! In the dream, I was running away from something and had sought shelter in the cathedral. What I was running away from, where I had come from, where I was headed, who was I in the dream…I know nothing. I just remember having explored the cathedral in the dream and even in reality, it turned out to be absolutely the same! The whole place had a feeling of déja vu. I have heard people say that dream arise from whatever the person thinks about throughout the day or just before falling asleep. Going by that, many times, I tried to think of things consciously just before I fell asleep, but there were times when the dream and what I had thought about had no connection at all! So it is about thinking of something or thoughts popping into the head unknowingly from which these dreams stem?

I am no doctor and neither am I a person who has mastered the art of interpreting dreams. In fact, I don’t even know if every dream has a meaning but the truth is…dreams are, at times, inexplicable! No logic…no reason can fathom the unfathomable depths of the human mind and considering that these dreams arise from this very mind, they are equally mysterious! Tell me, how does one explain a dream where a person sees an unknown entity and finds himself or herself in active conversation (either hostile or pleasant) with that other person?! Now that I have written about these thoughts that were on my mind, I don’t know what I will dream of when I fall asleep next…which maybe on the flight! On a lighter note though, I guess the dream will be pleasant if I fall off to sleep on the flight because I am going to meet little T after a long time and she has been on my mind a lot…both consciously and I am sure…unconsciously. The ceaseless chain reaction of thoughts in my mind is unstoppable but I guess my laptop’s battery doesn’t have enough longevity to keep pace. What I want to say is that the indication of low battery is on and hence I have to end this piece here.

I hope I didn’t scare you with this piece because that wasn’t the intention. I was just documenting what was going on in my little brain. Sorry if I did give you a jolt. Really. Anyway, I hope you liked it and now I shall switch this off and get bored once again, thinking of crazy things. Will be back soon unless, of course, the flight crashes and I perish…

If that be the case then I just want to wish all of you a great Christmas and New year.

Adios.

Friday, January 04, 2008

A mere cog-wheel


It is a huge machine, this thing that I am stuck in the middle of. All I do the whole day, ceaselessly, is rotate. You may miss me effortlessly if you just glance at the machine but hey…look closer…here…on your left bottom corner. I am right here. I exist though I may not be the single most imposing thing in this huge heap of iron and steel. But I want you to know that I do exist.

How long I have been here, I do not remember. How much longer I will be here, I do not know. The only thing I am sure of and the only piece of truth is that right now I am here. Ignored, forgotten, fatigued and unappreciated. That was my life till recently. But one fine day the simmering pot of patience boiled over. It happened when an operator kicked me! I understand that I am made of metal and am seldom noticed but being kicked isn’t the best of feelings.

So I decided to rebel. I stopped rotating. I just stopped. As a result the machine didn’t work any more! Everything came to a standstill. Work froze. Suddenly everybody realized that I existed and all attention was diverted to me. People started fussing over the fact that this little cog-wheel was just not ready to budge. Some even screamed at each other. Sheesh! Humans!

When forcing proved futile, the humans resorted to coaxing and oiling. I love the taste of that delicious machine oil, especially that one that comes in the red bottle and so I wasn’t complaining. A little cog seldom gets a chance to be the center of attention! After I had had my fill of the oil and attention, I decided to give in. It isn’t true when people say that things made of metal are heartless. In fact, that is a blatant lie because we have hearts that are softer than the ones humans have. So I started rotating again and life was back to normal. For a few days, people were careful not to tick me off again but now, once again things are returning to the way they were before the mutiny. Looks like I have to get back to repeating what I did!

I don’t have a problem but there is only one thing that’s bothering me…is a mutiny, a rebellion the only way to make oneself heard loud and clear? If that is true, then it is rather sad, isn’t it? I will leave you to ponder over it in your free time.

Adios.

Wilted Flowers


In the garden blooming with flowers
I was walking one day…
In awe of nature’s diversity
When my eyes came to rest upon them

Wilted flowers they were
And they stared at me blankly
Clearly out of place they were
But that look on them I can’t forget

“Why are we here?” they seemed to ask
A question I found impossible to answer
In the midst of the colourful array
A bunch of wilted flowers…

Once they too must have been in bloom
Bursting with colour
Brimming with fragrance
But today they stood like corpses

That time couldn’t come back
The days of their prime
The wheel had spun already
And that reminded me of you

The time we were together
Those few days of bliss
And today though you reside in my heart
A long distance has put us apart

I wish the clock was
A slave to my whims and wishes
But alas it isn’t
And I have to wait for the right time…

Days, weeks, months…
How long it will be I do not know
But I watered those wilted flowers
In the hope that time flies by….