Friday, March 28, 2008

Walking with a zombie



(Dedicated to my perennial inspiration)

As I have mentioned earlier, I work at a place where chaos is ubiquitous. Spending nights at office in an attempt to come up with ideas and finish work on tight deadlines has now become a part of life. This happened on just one such night.

Six of us were stuck in office, working. Suddenly, hunger struck us as the clock struck two in the morning. For normal human beings, it is a time to sleep so most hotels are shut. But near our office, there is a hotel that’s open till 6 in the morning. I guess they are just trying to cash in on our erratic timings. I being the hungriest of all, considering my insatiable appetite, volunteered to get the food packed. So I made a list of all that the people wanted to eat and set off.

Between the restaurant and my office, there is a narrow lane with a lone street lamp. As expected, most part of the broken street is deserted. As I was half way through, I heard somebody shout over my shoulder “boo”! Startled for a second, I turned around to see if it was a colleague of mine or a friend who just wanted to derive some joy out of scaring me. It turned out to be neither. Instead, it was a lanky, short chap who looked at me with a disappointed gaze. He was pale white with disheveled hair. “Damn! You were supposed to be scared dude! Now how will I go back and face my father and my fiancé?”

I must admit that I found it funny that a guy half my size in both length and width, dressed in a yellow shirt and baby pink cargoes thought that he could scare me. “who are you and what on earth made you think that you could scare me, wearing those strange clothes? I mean, come on buddy, look at your size at least!”, I said. To that, his reply was, “first of all, let me introduce myself. I am Zazu, the zombie. I have two elder brothers. Zozo and Zimzo, who will now laugh at me, thanks to you. Second, nobody, I repeat, nobody dares to call my clothes strange. They have been specially crafted by Zersache and Zorgio Zarmani. You know, I don’t wear anything that’s not designer. And the only two other designers I like are Zohit Zal and Z. Z. Zalaya. So you better not say anything against this attire of mine, you no-sense-of-fashion human.”

Now I was beginning to enjoy this. Not only did this crazy, puny guy have the guts to try and scare me, but he also thought he was a zombie! Whoa!

“So, you’re trying to tell me that you’re a zombie who’s out to scare people in the middle of the night, are you?”

“Absolutely!”

“Great. Prove to me that you’re what you claim to be”. This must be fun, I thought.

“I warn you, it will be very scary. VERY scary.”

“So that’s ok. That was your objective anyway, wasn’t it?”

“Ok. If you insist. Now, come on, here is my arm. Pull it.”

So I tugged at his arm and it actually came off! Pretty much like it does when you try to pull it off the plastic toys. Needless to say, that was pretty freaky. I was holding his arm in my hand while he stared at me, smiling. Must admit was a little scared but tried my best not to show it. “So, did I prove my point? Now, give that arm back to me so that I can put it back on.”

So I handed his arm back to him with absolute silence. He took it and screwed it back onto his shoulders like it had some grooves around it. He moved it to check the movement and once he was satisfied, he looked at me and smiled again. “What did you think? I am some random, crazy chap who painted his face white in the middle of the night?”

I was speechless. “So…where were you off to?”

“I was going to buy something to eat at this restaurant here.”

“Naah. Don’t. you get much better food a couple of kilometers up ahead.”

“How do you know so much about human food? You’re a freaking zombie!”

“I am indeed and I am glad I made you believe it but the truth is, that we zombies share a lot in common with you humans. Like the Zombieland anthem, for ages, has been this song by Cranberries called Zombie. Have you heard it?”

What was this thing? A zombie and that too, darfed? Of course I had heard the song! “Yes. I have heard that song many times”, I said. “Good song, isn’t it? Anyway now, if you want to get some real nice grub, I can give you a lift up to that other restaurant.”

No way! I wasn’t going to hitch a ride with a zombie! I know I am crazy but not completely over-the-top insane yet. I hadn’t realized that it had been quite a while since I met this Godforsaken creature, literally, and that’s when my art partner called. Heaving a sigh of relief, I picked up the phone though I didn’t really know what to say. I have a habit of pacing up and down while speaking on my mobile phone. So I walked away from him without realizing it and when I turned around, he was gone. A part of me was jumping out of my skin out of fear and the other part was happy that the thing was gone. I finished my conversation and hung up. Suddenly, Zaku sprang up from behind me again. Yikes!

“Here, these are the best dishes on the menu in the restaurant I mentioned. Since you were busy on the phone, I thought I would go and get some food. By the way, which service provider does your friend have?”

“He uses Airtel while I have Vodafone”, I said, staring at the food.

“Hmmm…Airtel…and Vodafone. Sound a lot like the services we have. Zairtel, Zodafone, Zidea and Zealiance!”

“Tell me something; all the names that you mentioned in all this while start with Z. What fetish to you zombies have with the letter Z?”

“Look, around 400 years ago, our council of elders, which is much like your Parliament, decreed that all names should start with Z and nothing else. We have followed the tradition all these years but now, we youngsters are trying to change the way zombies look at life.”

A zombie, talking about life? Paradoxical.

“Anyway, here is the food. Don’t worry, it’s on me. Just make sure that if you find my fiancé Zenne anywhere, tell her you were shit scared on seeing me. Can’t lose face in front of her, you know? She might just call the engagement off. I need to rush now. Have plenty of other humans to scare and make it home in the next couple of hours cause I have a date with Zenne at 7 in the morning. See you around”, and he disappeared.

I was sure I didn’t want to see him, his family or his fiancé…ever again. I stood there with the packet of food, wondering what to do. After pondering a little, I chucked the food into the trash can cause honestly, I didn’t have the courage to eat food sponsored by a zombie. I bought whatever I had to and walked back to the office. The journey back was thankfully eventless.

So, this was my little tête-à-tête with Zaku, the zombie. The thought still makes me wonder about all that happened.

Adios.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

crazy,bizzare,entertaining....had a great time reading .!!!!!

Shom's portfolio said...

thank da you afreen :)
well...what can i say? craziness comes to me naturally! glad you liked it...

Whats in a name.......... said...

zhis ztory zas zerrrrryyyy zerrrrrryyy zunny and zentertaining!!!! Zod,,,,zan zou zrite zell zor zhat!!!!!!

Shom's portfolio said...

zhank zeu zhank zeu :D
zit ziz zust zhat zuch zots zome zo zy zind zonly :P
zi zam zlad zhat zeu ziked zhe ziece.
zand zi zike zhe zay zeu zhave zitten zhe zomment...
zand zu zot zpeek zabout Zod zin zront zof zombies..
zeze...

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