Last night I wanted to speak. Though I didn’t really get to speak, it kind of cleared the mist a little. It made me accept bare truths of life in their purest and most detestable forms.
It is surprising how even when a person has volumes to speak, finding a willing ear is difficult and even in case one finds an ear like that, all…or at least most of what one wants to say goes unsaid…
It is surprising how one feels absolutely speechless because one realizes that the ear that one presumes is a listening ear, is in fact an ear that is deaf. And hence it gives an illusion of being attentive. One goes on speaking endlessly until realization dawns and then…there is silence. Partly from the shock of the realization and partly from resigning to the fact that THAT is the blatant truth.
It is then that one understands that there are a few things that would probably be understood by just one person who is very similar to oneself. Finding that one person in the milling crowd is an extremely tough task because the world is an extremely populated place. And even the guarantee that one will find such a person is missing. It just leaves life a little more complicated than it had been moments ago. But who said life ever laid its claim to simplicity? Life is a complicated beast by nature and simplicity is just a farce to lure the prey. After the discovery of the fact that the listening ear is actually deaf, a few additional questions pop up instead of unearthing the answers to the already existing questions.
The answers to those questions again, one would rather not delve into because it may just give rise to a few more questions. Life becomes a vicious circle. The pile of questions and answers seem grossly mismatched with the questions clearly with an upper hand. I have come across countless ears that seem attentive but turn out to be deaf but the quest is on to find that one person with a genuinely attentive ear. Instead of losing hope with every lost battle, my fervor to find that one person increases manifold. The quest is renewed. Now I finally feel I have found that one attentive ear. But everyone has a private space which is never open to intrusion of any kind and in my anxiety to speak; I do not want to overstep that line. It is at moments like these that one seeks divine intervention to point out the opportune moment to start speaking. So I am praying.
Please join in my prayers…for my sake and yours so that you also find the right person, if you haven’t already and understand when that right moment arrives. I shall be obliged.