Hello Sir/Ma’am,
I have heard you’re the President of this country and have a lot powers in matters regarding the safety of all your citizens. Hence I am writing this petition to you because my life is in grave danger. Every successive day brings along new threats.
Let me introduce myself to you so that you are better equipped to understand the gravity of the matter. I am a house lizard and my name is inconsequential. What is relevant is that through my personal experiences, I speak for the millions like me around the world. I have been living in this house ever since I remember. I have adorned the walls of this house ever since childhood and was happy to feed on the insects and roaches in the vicinity. We were a happy family of three brothers and two sisters. Now, I am the only one left alive. Two bothers of mine lost their lives due to food poisoning because they ate up a roach that had been killed by a pest control spray. One of my sisters was killed by the same spray when it was sprayed all over her by this monstrous human. She died an agonizing and undignified death. I mean, killing the prey and predator with the same insecticide is shameful! It has shattered our respect and honour. My youngest brother was flushed away when he went to take a bath and drowned. I didn’t even have the chance to perform his last rites and give him a proper funeral and my youngest sister was shot dead, quite literally. In fact, the same adolescent human who shot my sister is now after my life, armed with a shotgun that fires plastic pellets. Maybe the humans can bear the impact of those pellets but we lizards are fragile creatures. We just resemble dinosaurs and alligators but we are neither as fierce nor as strong as them. In fact, I was under attack last evening and the human shot my tail off! I was supposed to take my girlfriend out to dinner in the loft since it has a marvelous supply of roaches and a variety of other insects but this incident put me through immense embarrassment because not just the other lizards, but even the roaches and flies were laughing at me, even while running for their lives! It was disgusting, to say the least. I do not know what harm I have caused to these humans. Maybe they do not realize that I am their most natural pest control agent with no side effects and my absence shall see the rise of the creepy crawlies in this house. My brown skin compliments the beige walls of this house and to strike up a friendship with humans, I also tired making attractive designs my contorting my body into various shapes, but to no avail. My food supply is dwindling rapidly and I am writing to you from behind the tube light holder where I have been hiding for the last two days. Please send the air force, army, paramilitary forces or whatever else is required to bail me out of here and save my life. Post that, I plan to sue these humans and will be highly obliged if you help me with a few references.
I am really looking forward to a positive response because anything else will be fatal for me.
Thanking you,
Yours sincerely,
The Little House Lizard.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 01, 2008
WE the PEOPLE
In a few moments of idleness today, I was sitting and thinking. Here is what I figured. It may not be a splendid read but might just make sense if you think over it and ponder for a few moments in your spare time, but spare time is a rare commodity and I shall not be least surprised if you find none in your busy schedule.
Throughout my life, I have often heard the elders talking about how our generation is way too different from them and how we have an entirely different perspective of looking at things. We all know that nothing happens without a reason and behind this seemingly different behavioural pattern too there is an array of reasons. Times have changed and so have we as humans. Whether we have truly progressed or regressed is debatable but here are a few things that might be the reason for us being the way we are!
We have seen and experienced a lot in these short spans of lives. To begin with, we belong to the generation that saw the turn of the millennium in their adolescence. Back in 1999, I hardly remember a person who I did not hear talking about Y2K, the year 2000. Almost everyone was talking about how the world would come to a standstill because computers wouldn’t work and things like that. It has been eight years since the turn of the millennium and nothing happened because the problems were taken care of. We belong to the generation that has seen the rise of wars and terrorism like no generation before us. From Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran to Kargil, there has been war everywhere! Terror strikes all across the globe have made us doubt the existence of humanity at times but in the race of everyday life, we have put all of it behind us. We watch the news and forget it. A lot of us are living in alien cities without our families and resort to social networking sites to keep in touch with who we call friends. I must confess that I am one of those myself and I have the time tested excuse “I have no time”. So today, saying hello to a friend means punching out a few words on the keyboard because that’s the easiest way out. We are probably a little more selfish than our predecessors but I think it is just the survival instinct coming into play. In this world, we have to live! We have seen messengers of humanity like Mother Teresa and others leave this world and that spreading fear is fast becoming the prerequisite to gaining respect. The differences between having sex and making love are fast disappearing and the idea of asking someone out for coffee is slowly losing its shelf life. Cigarette and dope sales are shooting through the roof in spite of the fact that we all understand what the flip side is. Are we then headed towards self destruction? No, not quite. I think it is just our way of combating the stress life subjects us to. In fact, the kids now growing up are probably having a harder time because the number of kids playing in a park on any given evening is dwindling rapidly. Looks like it will not be long before they go extinct and the idea of having a good time jumping around in the evening while getting all messy will be no more than a fable. Our lifestyle and we as people are undergoing a metamorphosis, thanks to the pressure that life subjects us to.
What then is the solution? Do we just sit and wait till doomsday to arrive? No. Though, I don’t want to make this sound like a moral science lecture because I don’t think I am qualified enough to deliver one by any parameter but maybe what we can do is sit for a while everyday and go over everything that happened. Maybe we can say hello to the people we really care about just once in a day to let them know that we are thinking of them. Maybe we can take a look at the old photographs and revive the memories entombed in them. There are a lot of things we can do. They need not be of epic proportions. They can be small things because sometimes small things make huge differences. Some people might have an excuse that they don’t have time but remember, nobody has the twenty fifth hour in the day and yet some manage to do all this. So does it mean they are more efficient than the ones who just crib about the lack of time? Think about it if you have a moment.
Adios.
Throughout my life, I have often heard the elders talking about how our generation is way too different from them and how we have an entirely different perspective of looking at things. We all know that nothing happens without a reason and behind this seemingly different behavioural pattern too there is an array of reasons. Times have changed and so have we as humans. Whether we have truly progressed or regressed is debatable but here are a few things that might be the reason for us being the way we are!
We have seen and experienced a lot in these short spans of lives. To begin with, we belong to the generation that saw the turn of the millennium in their adolescence. Back in 1999, I hardly remember a person who I did not hear talking about Y2K, the year 2000. Almost everyone was talking about how the world would come to a standstill because computers wouldn’t work and things like that. It has been eight years since the turn of the millennium and nothing happened because the problems were taken care of. We belong to the generation that has seen the rise of wars and terrorism like no generation before us. From Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran to Kargil, there has been war everywhere! Terror strikes all across the globe have made us doubt the existence of humanity at times but in the race of everyday life, we have put all of it behind us. We watch the news and forget it. A lot of us are living in alien cities without our families and resort to social networking sites to keep in touch with who we call friends. I must confess that I am one of those myself and I have the time tested excuse “I have no time”. So today, saying hello to a friend means punching out a few words on the keyboard because that’s the easiest way out. We are probably a little more selfish than our predecessors but I think it is just the survival instinct coming into play. In this world, we have to live! We have seen messengers of humanity like Mother Teresa and others leave this world and that spreading fear is fast becoming the prerequisite to gaining respect. The differences between having sex and making love are fast disappearing and the idea of asking someone out for coffee is slowly losing its shelf life. Cigarette and dope sales are shooting through the roof in spite of the fact that we all understand what the flip side is. Are we then headed towards self destruction? No, not quite. I think it is just our way of combating the stress life subjects us to. In fact, the kids now growing up are probably having a harder time because the number of kids playing in a park on any given evening is dwindling rapidly. Looks like it will not be long before they go extinct and the idea of having a good time jumping around in the evening while getting all messy will be no more than a fable. Our lifestyle and we as people are undergoing a metamorphosis, thanks to the pressure that life subjects us to.
What then is the solution? Do we just sit and wait till doomsday to arrive? No. Though, I don’t want to make this sound like a moral science lecture because I don’t think I am qualified enough to deliver one by any parameter but maybe what we can do is sit for a while everyday and go over everything that happened. Maybe we can say hello to the people we really care about just once in a day to let them know that we are thinking of them. Maybe we can take a look at the old photographs and revive the memories entombed in them. There are a lot of things we can do. They need not be of epic proportions. They can be small things because sometimes small things make huge differences. Some people might have an excuse that they don’t have time but remember, nobody has the twenty fifth hour in the day and yet some manage to do all this. So does it mean they are more efficient than the ones who just crib about the lack of time? Think about it if you have a moment.
Adios.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Jihad? Oh really?!
September 13, 2008. Five blasts ripped through Delhi, stunning everyone in addition to killing scores of people and injuring even more. Strategically placed at some of the most crowded spots of the city on a weekend, they were clearly designed to achieve maximum body count. All this was in addition to the three bombs that were diffused by the bomb squad.
To add to all this, the group Indian Mujahideen, which claimed responsibility for the blasts, had the audacity to send an e-mail to various agencies and claim that they did all this in the name of Allah and this was what they claimed to be jihad. I mean, get real people! Do these fanatical idiots actually think anyone in his or her right mind will believe such crappy claims?! Even before Delhi, they had targeted cities like Bangalore, Jaipur and Hyderabad. This is anything but a Holy War.
When a bomb goes off, it kills without discretion of any kind; be it race, gender, cast, creed and even religion. So much for religious motivation! These losers sound more like pseudo fanatics for whom killing is business, nothing personal. And these are the people who bring a bad name to all the people who have true faith in the same religion as these ********. Seriously, what are these buggers trying to achieve? Panic? If that is what they want then I suggest that they get the message loud and clear…we shall not chicken away from leading a normal life because we are not scared. What we will do is hunt each of them down and shoot them point blank. Taking silence to be timidity is the biggest sign of being an absolute jackass. Look, all of you “jihadis” out there, remember that we have a whole lot of people in this country who love living a normal life and if you mess around with the common man too much, you’re dead meat. Do not try to trigger a dormant volcano because the heat may be too much for you to take. Understand? What kind of cowards are these people who sneak a bomb into a place and scamper away? Little kids who have nothing whatsoever to do with any kind of a war died in these blasts or were seriously injured! I mean, these people are outright psychotic.
Trust me, the day people of this country mean business, you will have nowhere to hide. It’s just a question of time. Don’t push us too hard. You want war? We will give it to you but tell me, can you cowards face it? A lot of you, I am sure are Indians yourselves. You have grown up in these very cities that you’re now trying to destroy! What the F have you done with your conscience and humanity, you lousy buggers?! There could have been your friends, classmates, teachers and relatives among the people who died.
Get it straight. Either you mend your ways or we will do the honours for you and the day we lose our cool, we will hit you so hard at places that hurt that all of you will be reduced to mere crippled vegetables. Just for once, come up and face us if you have the you-know-what. We all await you.
To add to all this, the group Indian Mujahideen, which claimed responsibility for the blasts, had the audacity to send an e-mail to various agencies and claim that they did all this in the name of Allah and this was what they claimed to be jihad. I mean, get real people! Do these fanatical idiots actually think anyone in his or her right mind will believe such crappy claims?! Even before Delhi, they had targeted cities like Bangalore, Jaipur and Hyderabad. This is anything but a Holy War.
When a bomb goes off, it kills without discretion of any kind; be it race, gender, cast, creed and even religion. So much for religious motivation! These losers sound more like pseudo fanatics for whom killing is business, nothing personal. And these are the people who bring a bad name to all the people who have true faith in the same religion as these ********. Seriously, what are these buggers trying to achieve? Panic? If that is what they want then I suggest that they get the message loud and clear…we shall not chicken away from leading a normal life because we are not scared. What we will do is hunt each of them down and shoot them point blank. Taking silence to be timidity is the biggest sign of being an absolute jackass. Look, all of you “jihadis” out there, remember that we have a whole lot of people in this country who love living a normal life and if you mess around with the common man too much, you’re dead meat. Do not try to trigger a dormant volcano because the heat may be too much for you to take. Understand? What kind of cowards are these people who sneak a bomb into a place and scamper away? Little kids who have nothing whatsoever to do with any kind of a war died in these blasts or were seriously injured! I mean, these people are outright psychotic.
Trust me, the day people of this country mean business, you will have nowhere to hide. It’s just a question of time. Don’t push us too hard. You want war? We will give it to you but tell me, can you cowards face it? A lot of you, I am sure are Indians yourselves. You have grown up in these very cities that you’re now trying to destroy! What the F have you done with your conscience and humanity, you lousy buggers?! There could have been your friends, classmates, teachers and relatives among the people who died.
Get it straight. Either you mend your ways or we will do the honours for you and the day we lose our cool, we will hit you so hard at places that hurt that all of you will be reduced to mere crippled vegetables. Just for once, come up and face us if you have the you-know-what. We all await you.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Missing a heartbeat
Alive I am, yet, not quite full of life
Like everyone, I breathe too
Yet somewhere, I am missing a heartbeat
A heartbeat that’s you…
The day passes, and night settles in
Yet another date on the calendar turns
But I still miss that heartbeat
A heartbeat that’s you…
To think with my heart I am told
I am told to give my mind a rest
But how do I think with a missing heartbeat?
A heartbeat that’s you…
Somewhere in this heart, your name resonates
Calling out to you aloud, hoping you’d hear
But silence greets this missing heartbeat
A heartbeat that’s you…
I sometimes wonder if I will live
One beat less than others do
Because I just can’t find that missing heartbeat
A heartbeat that’s you…
Like everyone, I breathe too
Yet somewhere, I am missing a heartbeat
A heartbeat that’s you…
The day passes, and night settles in
Yet another date on the calendar turns
But I still miss that heartbeat
A heartbeat that’s you…
To think with my heart I am told
I am told to give my mind a rest
But how do I think with a missing heartbeat?
A heartbeat that’s you…
Somewhere in this heart, your name resonates
Calling out to you aloud, hoping you’d hear
But silence greets this missing heartbeat
A heartbeat that’s you…
I sometimes wonder if I will live
One beat less than others do
Because I just can’t find that missing heartbeat
A heartbeat that’s you…
Monday, September 08, 2008
Teachers...
In my nearly 24 years of existence, I have been through the regular grind of school and college and have seen a lot of teachers. This post is in their honour and may just read a little different from the regular gibberish that I write.
My dad has been on the move throughout his career and every change of city meant a change of place, a change of schools and a change of life. Every change of schools brought along new opportunities, new challenges and new teachers. To be very honest, I never had the chance to be in one school for too long. So I do not remember all my teachers and my apologies to the ones whose names I have forgotten, but the learning has stayed on with me and I thank them for that. In a way, moving base repeatedly is a disadvantage because it means getting used to the teaching patterns of different teachers but then, in a way is has had its own advantages because I got to know a lot of people from different parts of the country with varying mindsets and opinions.
Though, in India, Teachers’ Day is celebrated in honour of Dr. Sarvapalli Radhakrishnan, one of the foremost teachers of he country and an ex-president of India but the true honour extends to every teacher throughout the world. I have come across various kinds of teachers in my life. In my student days, I met teachers who had faith in me and saw immense potential, teachers who told me I was good for nothing, teachers who tried bringing out the best in me my sheer encouragement and teachers who thought insults were the order of the day. I won’t deny that I didn’t like all my teachers. In fact, I immensely disliked some of them but they all added to my life in their own way.
For some reason, I have always had an affinity to my English teachers, except one. I guess somewhere it was the love for the language that made me perform better in their class. My chemistry with Chemistry wasn’t explosive but it wasn’t that bad either. History was something I always got muddled up with because I could never figure out who built what, who invaded which country and when, who was born when and definitely not who died when. Coming to Physics, we were always in harmonic motion and I actually liked the subject. Though, I remember, I could never understand back then that if light traveled in a straight line, then how light bulbs did and tubelights managed to light up a whole room! I could never quite get my linear equation right with Mathematics and I remember frowning at the very sight of that subject. But as I grew from school to college, the understanding increased a little.
Some of my teachers, I remember very clearly. I remember everything from their faces to their voices because they affected my life very deeply. Some for good and the others, well, no comments. Even today, there are people who teach me something I didn’t know and I guess this process of learning and teaching just goes on for everyone. Nevertheless, the base is built by the earliest of the teachers. Having said that, I remember my mom. She taught me a lot. And after all these years, she still hasn’t quite given up on her efforts to teach me. Amazing patience! Then of course, how can I forget this strange teacher called life?! It has been at it ever since I remember. Though I do not know how fruitful it has been.
In a nutshell, the process of learning and teaching are ceaseless and all of us keep jumping from one side to the other right from the cradle to the grave. The day one stops is the day one begins to wane. So keep learning, keep teaching and keep rocking.
Adios.
My dad has been on the move throughout his career and every change of city meant a change of place, a change of schools and a change of life. Every change of schools brought along new opportunities, new challenges and new teachers. To be very honest, I never had the chance to be in one school for too long. So I do not remember all my teachers and my apologies to the ones whose names I have forgotten, but the learning has stayed on with me and I thank them for that. In a way, moving base repeatedly is a disadvantage because it means getting used to the teaching patterns of different teachers but then, in a way is has had its own advantages because I got to know a lot of people from different parts of the country with varying mindsets and opinions.
Though, in India, Teachers’ Day is celebrated in honour of Dr. Sarvapalli Radhakrishnan, one of the foremost teachers of he country and an ex-president of India but the true honour extends to every teacher throughout the world. I have come across various kinds of teachers in my life. In my student days, I met teachers who had faith in me and saw immense potential, teachers who told me I was good for nothing, teachers who tried bringing out the best in me my sheer encouragement and teachers who thought insults were the order of the day. I won’t deny that I didn’t like all my teachers. In fact, I immensely disliked some of them but they all added to my life in their own way.
For some reason, I have always had an affinity to my English teachers, except one. I guess somewhere it was the love for the language that made me perform better in their class. My chemistry with Chemistry wasn’t explosive but it wasn’t that bad either. History was something I always got muddled up with because I could never figure out who built what, who invaded which country and when, who was born when and definitely not who died when. Coming to Physics, we were always in harmonic motion and I actually liked the subject. Though, I remember, I could never understand back then that if light traveled in a straight line, then how light bulbs did and tubelights managed to light up a whole room! I could never quite get my linear equation right with Mathematics and I remember frowning at the very sight of that subject. But as I grew from school to college, the understanding increased a little.
Some of my teachers, I remember very clearly. I remember everything from their faces to their voices because they affected my life very deeply. Some for good and the others, well, no comments. Even today, there are people who teach me something I didn’t know and I guess this process of learning and teaching just goes on for everyone. Nevertheless, the base is built by the earliest of the teachers. Having said that, I remember my mom. She taught me a lot. And after all these years, she still hasn’t quite given up on her efforts to teach me. Amazing patience! Then of course, how can I forget this strange teacher called life?! It has been at it ever since I remember. Though I do not know how fruitful it has been.
In a nutshell, the process of learning and teaching are ceaseless and all of us keep jumping from one side to the other right from the cradle to the grave. The day one stops is the day one begins to wane. So keep learning, keep teaching and keep rocking.
Adios.
Monday, August 18, 2008
New age advertising
Print advertising, TVCs and now, the web. Advertising has been exploiting avenue after avenue to surge ahead and influence consumers’’ mindsets on a very large scale. Today, advertising on the internet is catching up like a wild fire. The reach is global and the costs are much lesser. It is true that the reach of internet is not as widespread as the reach of print but it is growing rapidly. However, for every creative person in this business, print is probably the most exciting and challenging medium but the fact is that it is a still medium where a person’s vision is limited to a motionless graphic. Television and internet on the other hand can show much more. Internet has an even bigger advantage because it is far more interactive than the good old television. Besides there are a zillion blogs like this which dedicate themselves entirely to advertise and create communities of consumers, which obviously gives every consumer a feeling of fraternity and hence impacts the brand to a significant extent.
From viral campaigns to brand related games, there is everything to hold a consumer’s interest and propel him or her towards the brand for the desired effect. The latest example of this from Indian advertising is the viral cum game for Center Fresh, a bubble gum. Though legends like Ogilvy, Bernbach and Leo Burnett will always adorn the hall of fame of advertising but the truth is, the business is not that simple any more. Numerous possibilities have opened up. Talking about possibilities, outdoor advertising is another form of advertising that has found new meaning in the recent years. More than creativity, advertising is now a game of innovation and finding new media.
There is not a single aspect of a person’s life that has not been touched by this business and the influence just keeps growing. Radio is another medium that is entering the world of advertising in a big way. Standard painted billboards have been replaced by LEDs and from bus shelters to roads to mammoth building, nothing has escaped the “Brand Invasion”. Question is, is it good or bad? The answer is simple. Looking at the bigger picture, it is definitely good because it gives the brands a bigger chance to expand and creates an inspirational value that is unmatched. Though yes, looking at it with a magnifying glass, there are certain short-lived difficulties on the way. Like pressure to innovate increases manifold and properties that are hired for advertising might be a nuisance to people until they get used to it. However, I guess, we should always look at the bigger picture and enjoy the expansion and intrusion of this business into our lives.
Adios.
From viral campaigns to brand related games, there is everything to hold a consumer’s interest and propel him or her towards the brand for the desired effect. The latest example of this from Indian advertising is the viral cum game for Center Fresh, a bubble gum. Though legends like Ogilvy, Bernbach and Leo Burnett will always adorn the hall of fame of advertising but the truth is, the business is not that simple any more. Numerous possibilities have opened up. Talking about possibilities, outdoor advertising is another form of advertising that has found new meaning in the recent years. More than creativity, advertising is now a game of innovation and finding new media.
There is not a single aspect of a person’s life that has not been touched by this business and the influence just keeps growing. Radio is another medium that is entering the world of advertising in a big way. Standard painted billboards have been replaced by LEDs and from bus shelters to roads to mammoth building, nothing has escaped the “Brand Invasion”. Question is, is it good or bad? The answer is simple. Looking at the bigger picture, it is definitely good because it gives the brands a bigger chance to expand and creates an inspirational value that is unmatched. Though yes, looking at it with a magnifying glass, there are certain short-lived difficulties on the way. Like pressure to innovate increases manifold and properties that are hired for advertising might be a nuisance to people until they get used to it. However, I guess, we should always look at the bigger picture and enjoy the expansion and intrusion of this business into our lives.
Adios.
HELP people...
Life is strange. I mean, there are so many things that one just has to do. There is this public image one has to maintain irrespective of what’s on a person’s mind and the other face is what the people close to a person know. Like right now, I am in a phase of life where I just want to run away from everything and be with myself but then, work demands attention too! Can’t compromise on that so have to work no matter what happens. The truth is, I miss Little T. A lot of people have asked me what her actual name is but sorry, nobody gets to know that. I just lost her without too much of a chance of a return and I am upset. Very upset. But then, things are not in my hand and she doesn’t look too keen on setting things right. I miss her. I really do. And if any of is reading this blog right now, please do me a favour, please pray on my behalf. I mean, I have tried everything under the Sun that can be called fair. And I really don’t want to play unfair when it comes to her because I will not be able to bear the guilt. And if there is an all pervading power, or God, or anything such as that, then that power isn’t responding to my pleas. Maybe He/She will respond to yours. I will be really obliged. Honestly, nobody has meant this much to me ever and I really miss her. Please help me out people. Please. You know, I have never really had anyone who could ever talk to her on my behalf and me doing it myself obviously sounded very cheap. She’s very angry with me and very upset. Really counting on everyone who reads this post. Thanks a ton!
Adios.
Adios.
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