The intrusion of doctors and scalpels in my life seems to be ceaseless. And for that, I have visited plenty of hospitals and I must say that contrary to popular belief, I have found hospitals to be pretty funny and amusing. All that one has to have is an observant eye.
My recent visit to this hospital particularly brought out the funny aspect. To begin with, I was made to sit in a freaking wheel chair. As it is, the wheel chair, needless to say, was a little too small for me and second, I felt so bloody handicapped! Now, coming to think of it, having a chauffeur driven chair wasn’t all that bad. In fact, I told the guy to speed up as we approached the operation theatre and I made sounds like a speeding bike. People staring at me must have thought I was headed in for a brain surgery to fix the wiring inside. Some even looked at me sympathetically!
Then once I reached the cutting up room (a.k.a. OT), I was told to change into the hospital uniform which looked more like an ill fitting space suit! And once again, neither did they have a uniform nor shoes my size. Now, I looked hilarious!
Oh! And did I tell you about the weighing machine? There is this monstrous (in comparative terms) weighing machine put right in the middle of the hospital which looks like it had been originally made to weigh elephants. And some people who hopped on it in fact were pretty close in terms of their weight. The highest was a man who weighed 250 kgs! Sheesh…that’s 2 and a half quintals!
Now I shall come to what happened in the OT. To begin with, the stretcher was a little too small as usual. And to add to that, the doc was talking on the phone! I mean, come on, there should be some law against doctors talking on the phone in the middle of a damned surgery.
Another thing I have noticed is that sometimes, people really try to put up a sad face when at a hospital, no matter how serious the ailment is. Like even if people have come in for a cold and flu, they have an expression like they are suffering from a terminal disease. I on the other keep grinning even in the face of surgeries. But then, I am crazy I guess.
Anyway, I am pretty bored of writing now. So I am signing off.