Sunday, July 15, 2007

A for an apple

I bought apples last night. Not many…just six…but they were insanely expensive. That made me wonder. Why on earth are apples so freaking expensive (well I haven’t really had the chance to check out the prices on Mars….Jupiter and the other planets of the solar system so far)?!

And I guess I have an answer…and a surprising one at that! First…if it wasn’t for a damned apple and if Mr. Adam and Miss. (or was it Mrs.?) Eve weren’t so hungry…we wouldn’t have had to live on the earth in the first place! Coming to think of it…Heaven would have been a pretty nice place to live in…what say??
So that, I guess, is reason number one. Now that makes me wonder a little more…since my mind refuses to sit still on a wonderful Saturday evening…why…why do all the fruits in the west have names ending with either ‘apple’ or ‘berry’? PineAPPLE…Custard APPLE…APPLE(I mean only apple)…Green APPLE…etc.
The rest are berries. StrawBERRY…RaspBERRY..etc.
I guess the elite ones are the ones with ‘apple’ attached to them.

Anyway…coming to the second reason. The alphabet starts with an apple! A for Apple…now…who doesn’t remember that? Christ! We would all have been illiterate if it wasn’t for apples!! This is crazy! An apple to determine the foundation of our education? Honestly…trusting something round, with a little stem and seeds, is a little bizarre when it comes to education. Anyway, the wise ones probably thought it was a brilliant idea and so it’s there.

And the third reason is even stranger! Apples have been known to keep doctors away. Remember? An apple a day keeps the doctor away…and needless to say…saves you a lot of money. So a fruit so useful can deserve to be a little pricey…err…expensive. But, I have never figured how a fruit that has a lot of vitamin C and water be enough to keep the doctor away?! Wouldn’t onions and garlic have been a better option? They would keep everyone away! See the logic? Simpler…surer and cheaper!!!

Oh…and fairy tales…the fruit has actively participated in fairy tales. Like Snow White for example was given a poisoned apple by her step mother! That’s cruel! Very cruel. But then the apple had nothing to do with it. The poor chap was cut up before that. That’s SAD.

Then again…imagine what Sir Issac Newton would have done if that apple didn’t fall on his head! Plonk…and viola…gravity was discovered! So many scientific inventions and discoveries would have never happened! Scary to think, isn’t it?

A very special friend of mine...just reminded me of the expression "Apple of one's eye"...and I can't thank her enough for that. Thank you darling. Anyway...continuing with what I was saying, I wonder why it's APPLE again...and not grape or plum or any other fruit because if the pupil is the size of an apple...I really wonder how monstrous the eye would be! Sheesh....! That's scary! But then...most of the adages in this wonderful language called English would sound absolutely absurd if they were to be taken literally.

So that’s that. A fruit with such historical importance can afford to be a little expensive. Though it makes it a little difficult for people to afford it! But that’s the deal. Take it or leave it!

Those are plenty of reasons for an apple to be expensive, isn’t it? So now I can…maybe…put my mind to rest. I hope…at least! Amen.

Till next time...



Shreeja said...

A for applle
B for bada apple
C for chhota apple
D for doosra apple
E for ek aur apple
F for faaltu apple
G for ganda apple
H for hoe-gaya na paet kharab kha-kha ke apple.

lol..throughout ur article..ths was the only thing in my mind...(courtesy: a li'l 6 yr old cuzin of mine)

Sudha said...

Btw: if a conversation with me starts on my blog, it continues on my blog.

So the answer to your 'link' question is where you asked it.