Glancing at the writer's mind...

Little droplets of rain fall on my face and run down…
I just stand and take in the smell of wet earth! As the drops cleanse the earth off its grime…
Rivulets of rain water flowing down the roads and sidewalks as children set off their paper boats on distant voyages. Bobbing in and out of the water, the boats struggle to keep afloat and the little kids run along to see whose boat sinks the last. The joy on their faces is a sight to behold.

Splashing water as puddles form on the road…filling up the shoes with the wet soil. The cars spraying everything as they speed along the road…the showers from the clouds above sway with the winds!

I stand there…paper in hand…pencil ready to strike…but I fumble for words.
Being a writer involves a lot of writing. But then, THAT is writing for someone else. It is like documenting somebody else’s thoughts…viewpoint…dreams. It is not me. I am paid for it and so my mind works overtime to ensure that output is as close to perfection as it can possibly be. But my heart…my heart suffocates. The flow of thoughts is stemmed to suit people’s requirement.

Sinking in this toxic concoction of stress and ambition, I thrash my limbs to stay afloat. Just like the little paper boats in the rivulets. I want to run like those joyful children into the lap of oblivion. But I feel handicapped. Like I am strapped to a wheelchair.

I want to write for myself. To put words on paper, which arise from my mind…independent of any external influence. I just want to continue writing till I run out of ink, paper and my hand goes numb with fatigue. I want to go on writing till my mind runs out of thoughts and falls silent. But that will not happen because the mind never rests till it reaches the grave. So running out of thoughts and things to write about is something that doesn’t really worry me.

Though I agree it maybe absolute pfaff for the people who read it but honestly, I am least bothered. As long as I like what I write…I will continue. But alas, life isn’t all that simple.

Oh! The kids are now sitting on the parapet of the terrace and munching away on roasted groundnuts. Interesting, isn’t it? The most elementary fact in life that eludes our senses is that happiness lies in simplicity. In the rat race to leave everyone behind and surge ahead…we sometimes lose focus of the simpler but greater joys in life. Strange but true.
That is why, I guess children are so happy till they grow up and face this world that can never look beyond a selfish purpose.

Trrring…trrring…

There…there rings my phone…forcing me out of my thoughts with which I had cocooned myself. And I join in the run again. The run to surge ahead in life and be successful…but a run that also ends up in an intangible…unknown feeling of regression! Kinda ironical…isn’t it?