Friday, September 17, 2010

On the man they call the Mahatma

To begin with, this piece is not to hurt the sentiments of those who believe in him. Neither is it political propaganda. It’s just an average Joe’s take on Mr. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi a.k.a Mahatma Gandhi.

Having said that, lately I have come across way too many people who scream from the rooftops to tell the world how great a man he was. At least for me, it was way too many people to handle. So here’s my response.

First of all, with my limited intellect, I fail to see how a man who was never on the frontline of the Indian independence movement, be called the greatest of heroes! Before someone misinterprets that statement, let me clarify that by ‘frontline’ I mean someone who was there in the thick of the action – like Lala Lajpat Rai, who suffered fatal injuries during the “Simon Go Back” agitation when the Simon commission was setup. Or Bhagat Singh, who took the battle to the enemy’s turf! For me, that’s a true leader. Not a man who sits at the command station while his followers are assaulted.

Second, I do understand that Mr. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was a believer in non violence but there is a very fine line between being non violent and being blind. During the Non Co-operation Movement of 1920, when the Chauri Chauraha incident occurred, why did he call off the movement? Did he not realize that the people he was leading were not a herd of sheep? Their patience had limits and the British had breached it a few times too much. I am not justifying needless violence but I do not advocate the “slap my other cheek too” logic either. People had quit their jobs, schools, colleges and changed their entire way of life! And a good leader is supposed to be good at reading his followers’ minds. Mere criticism of subjugation doesn’t really prove to be a constructive solution.

Third, please, somebody, remind me again – why is he called the Mahatma? I mean, I haven’t really come across any articles on his enlightenment. Follow a leader. Respect him. Be proud of him. Buy why on earth should he be given the status of a demigod? Just because he preached non violence? Russia, France, America and China have all undergone violent revolutions. And yet they are more developed and better placed than we are. So, what does that say? And yet their leaders are not worshipped.

Fourth – why do we have only Gandhi on our currency? Does it mean that the contributions made by Bhagat Singh, Chandrashekhar Azad, Jatin Das, Subhash Chandra Bose, Lala Lajpat Rai, Khudiram Bose, Ashfaqullah Khan, Rash Behari Bose, Ram Prasad Bismil and Rajguru not significant enough? Or is it because we called him the father of the nation since he was the only one in the list to have survived the struggle? Frankly, I find it a tad bit surprising that he was the only one to live through the whole period. Looks like non violence does have its perks!

To add to that, Nathuram Godse, the man who shot Mr. Gandhi was once his follower. So is it possible that somewhere he had let his followers down to an extent that one of them actually decided to put an end to it all? I mean come on, anyone who undertook an attack like that would have know that he didn’t even have a snowball’s chance in hell to get out alive. Yet he did it. Why?

Again, I was not present there. I am too young to have been there so I am not making a moral judgement. Just asking a few questions. Making a few statements. Any answers?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Reflections…

Life was a baffling puzzle,

In the scorching heat,

I sought a little drizzle.

And at times, a retreat.



The world was a buzzing place,

But in my lonely heart,

I often fell asleep pondering,

And woke up with a start.



What was I looking for?

I didn’t really know.

Where I was headed,

I didn’t want to go.



Life was a baffling puzzle,

In the scorching heat,

I sought a little drizzle.

And at times, a retreat.



I stayed up nights,

Looking at the lights.

Filled with fathomless gloom,

Like preparing for my doom.



But one single morning,

Changed it all.

When you walked into,

That empty hall.



All it took was,

One look at you.

And the whitewashed walls,

Turned into a million hues!



Your sparkling eyes,

Like the untamed sea.

Sometimes an open book,

Sometimes, a mystery.



I wished I could hold,

The sands of time.

Or let it be lost,

In the labyrinth of my rhyme.



But time is a wily beast,

It flew.

Leaving me with,

Memories of you.



Then I saw you again,

Walking down the street.

I think I skipped,

Just one heartbeat.



Today it’s been,

A long, long time.

And I am trying to capture time again,

In the labyrinth of my rhyme.



So I can spend a moment with you.

With your memories.

Forget my mundane life.

Escape all my worries.



We knew each other,

For a very short while.

But you infected me,

With the desire to smile.



So today in the scorching heat,

When I look for a retreat,

All I do is think of you,

And lose myself in your million hues…

Thursday, July 15, 2010

With love, from India.

Acknowledgements:

Joel Stein – for the wonderfully written piece of trash with insecure and spiteful undertones. (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1999416,00.html

Rahul Parikh – for the truly amazing comeback to Joel Stein’s article which inspired this piece. (http://edition.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/07/13/parikh.stein.rebuttal/index.html?hpt=C2&fbid=Ee7Dj34bC72)

Kapil Dhawan – for posting the link to Rahul Parikh’s article.

Now, let me have my take on what Joel Stein had to say. And let me be very clear that this piece is not about insulting Americans in any way because I personally know some really nice Americans. It is just a rebuttal to Joel Stein’s “humorous” piece.

To begin with, for a nation Joel Stein so kindly referred to as poor and not-so-bright, we have had way too many “bright” people that the world admires. In fact, if one types “famous Americans” on Wikipedia, there is a list of 33 names that springs up. If one types “famous Indians”, on the other hand, the list runs into pages. Moreover, there is a separate list which talks of famous “American Indians”. And guess how many names are listed? 347! The names span all walks of life. So, looks like we are not that “not-so-bright” after all, are we? As for being a poor country, we’re one of the fastest growing economies in the world, besides holding a roster entrepreneurs who lead some of the largest organizations in the world. Yes, we are poorer than America but that is also probable because we do not go around declaring wars on smaller countries, accusing them of hoarding weapons of mass destruction, while the actual objective is just to acquire oil reserves. Plus, the world knows the reality of the American dream and how fulfilling (note sarcasm) it is!

Now coming to culture. India has had a civilized history is one of the oldest in the world. We have a menu of languages that is as varied as our spicy cuisine. And we do not borrow foreign languages, mutilate the spellings like changing “colour” to “color”, rape the grammar and try to make the world follow our version of the ravaged language. India is the place where Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism and Sikhism originated. And Rabindranath Tagore has been rated to be a multi faceted genius, second only to Leonardo Da Vinci. Moreover, an average Indian with a mother tongue other than Hindi grows up learning three languages at least! One look at politics will also clear the fact that India has already achieved the feat of putting a woman in the highest office of the country. America hasn’t. But despite all these achievements, our idea of the world doesn’t just revolve around India. We do not say that if aliens ever invade, it will only be India, or Indians are the only ones who will put up a fight. Neither do we say that every volcanic eruption, vampire epidemic, tectonic shift of earth’s plates has to begin or occur in India. Our view of the world pans 360 degrees.

Having said all of that, yes we do have our share of black sheep as well. But we have Charles Shobhraj, America has Jack The Ripper! Point being, nothing is black or white. Not viewpoints, not issues, not people. It is all grey. And I think considering the fact that most of the population that has moved to America is a part of the cream in their generation, if anything, Joel Stein should be thankful to us Indians. And I would like to agree with Rahul Parikh on the fact that a meaningless footnote for an apology doesn’t work. It just doesn’t. And next time, please leave the humor to people who know a thing or two about it.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

250 miles of insanity!

I am back! Offer your brains so I can feast on them.

Ok. Fine. Don’t. Selfish people. Want to keep all your brains for yourself! Anyway, let me get on with what I wanted to say. Lots and lots…and lots of things have been happening and like always, it’s a blend of “oh so painful” and “oooh so nice”. And in the middle of all this is me. So then, without further ado, let me begin.

Keeping in sync with my affinity for things unplanned (except for a few situations, of course) I suddenly decided that since Jaipur is not that far off and most people who mattered were either out of Delhi or out of touch, it will be a nice idea to hop on to a bus and go to the Pink City for Diwali. The idea was great but the execution, not quite. To begin with, the buses starting from Bikaner House in Delhi were supposedly “full” and employees there could be seen openly selling tickets in black and making what they called “Diwali profit”. A press card or a police ID proved extremely helpful though, as I later found out. The bus rolled out of Bikaner House at sharp 1.15 in the morning. At least punctuality was a virtue the RTDC still has. Now, I was on the seat in the middle of the last row. Shaky but spacious. At least I could stretch my legs, though it’s a different thing that parts of my body like the neck, would also get stretched but that was inevitable. Then I suddenly saw this woman walk up to me and stand right in front of me, moving her head left and right like she was watching a tennis match! My estimate said she was around 29, unless she used one of those anti aging creams. So then she sat down and handed over her bag asking me if I could shove it under the seat in front of her. I did. Then it happened! Like the Tsunami…like a volcanic eruption…like a hail of bullets from an air raid…like Rajnikanth’s 60 kicks in a second…she started rattling away at a speed so fast that I doubt if even Michael Schumacher could keep up. The topics included things like how the government servants were cheating people out of money and how her uncle, a crime reporter had secured her a comfy seat, among a zillion other things. Finally, after 20 minutes of a monologue, I guess she lost steam. And went on the mute mode. The experience was so intense that I took me a good 40 minutes to get my concentration back to my Sudoku book. But my ordeal wasn’t over. The two guys sitting on my left then started off in a language that I presume was Hebrew or Arabic. All I could make out was that they sounded like they were clearing their throats repeatedly. I even thought of offering them cough drops. No offence meant though. They went on talking and talking like they’d had a crate of Red Bull. And people say I am talkative.

Suddenly the bus halted. Two guys got in. And one of them reached his seat bonking against the lofts on either sides. The guy was visibly and audibly “high”. Stoned off his mind or sloshed beyond repair, I don’t know, though. His friend had a sheepish “I apologise” look on his face. Once on his seat the stoned/sloshed chap started eating. And boy could he eat!! By the time he finished, there were 6 empty packets of chips, 4 chocolate cake packets, 4 empty sandwich packets, all tossed on the floor of the bus. Instinct told me to kick him in the groin and tell him to pick it up. Even better, stuff it in his mouth. But it wasn’t needed. The conductor did the rest. Though, the being a Volvo, the smell lingered on for a while. Then this guy caused a nuclear explosion. Now I know what people in Hiroshima would have felt like. And I am not elucidating the point.

Somewhere in the middle of all this and old Bollywood music, I dozed off. But I was shaken up, literally by the “firing” woman next to me. She woke me up like either the bus had been hijacked or set on fire. I saw the bus entering a food court run by RTDC. She said she had to go…(you know, go for emergency) and if I would look after her bag. It was more a statement than a request and in my zonked state of mind; I must have nodded my approval because she bolted for the door, stepping on my foot in the process. Bored to the edge of my seat, i got off the bus and got myself an apology for a frappe for Rs. 25 at the counter. As the bus began to leave the RTDC Midway, I climbed back on and sat in the bus. Rest of the journey was thankfully uneventful.

On reaching Jaipur, I walked up to the local bus stand out of my sudden desire to travel in a local bus here. It was 7 in the morning and the guy issuing the tickets was smoking beedi after beedi, turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to the monstrous board right outside the counter that said “Smoking Prohibited. Fine upt o Rs. 200”. So I clicked a nice little picture of him with smoke rolling out of his nostrils and told him and if he didn’t shut that thing off right then, then I would walk up to the nearest police station and get him arrested. He scowled. I scowled back. He grunted, I growled. And after such show of power, he had no choice. I took my ticket and just then it started raining. So I ran under one the tea stalls and drank tea, accompanied by fruit cake from “Rachna Backery”. Decent fruit cake. When I walked back to the terminus, the guy stubbed out his beedi the moment he saw me! I was proud of myself and saw an elderly woman smile gratefully. Nice start to the day it was. The bus came in. And I hopped on for another journey. But that’s for later. That’s quite another story!

Adios.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Gods Wanted

I had been suffering from an extreme lack of ideas all this while. Hence, no post. But today, out of the VIBGYOR, I thought of something. Here it is:
The world is changing. And fast! Infrastructure, technology, science and everything else, is undergoing a drastic change. Why should mythology and divinity be any different? In addition to the good old Gods, we need a few young and contemporary ones too. So here is a look at how the recruitment ad for these new Gods will look like.
The department of Divine Resource Management is recruiting for the positions mentioned below. The salaries are negotiable with additional perks like 50% of food and money offered to the deity by devotees. Please read the roles and responsibilities carefully before applying.

God of Traffic Control

The candidates should be skilled in traffic management with minimum 1 year of experience in managing Godly duties. Candidates from departments like War, Wisdom and Destruction will be given preference. Role will include managing traffic in the busy centers, miraculously fixing malfunctioning signals, answering prayers about reducing traffic etc. Ideally, the candidates should be between 40 – 150 years of age, and should, in no way exceed 200 years. Additional responsibility includes cleaning up after accidents as well.

God of Reality Shows

The candidates should be skilled in managing viewer mindsets. They should be well versed with the concept of TRPs and should respond quickly to prayers from producers, directors and viewers. Rewarding fair participation and punishing sleazy practices will also form a part of the role. Minimum 1 year of experience required. Candidates from Knowledge, Music and Intellect will be given preference. Age should not be more than 50 years. Computer literacy is a must.

God of Pollution Control

The candidates should have at least 5 years of experience in various departments. Role will include pollution control, rewarding environmentally aware creatures and punishing reckless creatures. Must respond to prayers from all species within 24 hours. Age should not be less than 200 years. Fraternizing with God of Natural Resources, God of Industrialisation and God of Capitalism will not be tolerated. God of Capitalism does not refer to the US.

God of Advertising

The candidate should specialize in conning techniques and influencing mindsets. Prior experience in any form of communication will be preferred. Should be able to respond quickly to any prayer from anyone in the advertising business. Perks will include a part of the profits. Age, preferably between 50 – 100 years.
All applications should reach the Department of Divine Bullshit, latest by doomsday. Applications received after that will not be tolerated. All applications can be mailed to holycrap@worship.com or alternatively, the candidate can call 1800 – HOLYCRAP for further details.

Till I write something stupid again…
Adios.

Monday, April 20, 2009

The circus is in town!

Five years have passed and psephologists are busy again. The reason is obvious. The circus is back in town, with the complete ensemble of clowns, trapeze artists, flame throwers (they are particularly in demand) and ring masters! We have given this circus a very fancy name: election.

Gnawing away at the roots of the world’s largest democracy is the very crux of the democratic process! It all began with an irate journalist tossing a shoe at the home minister. Then another shoe was tossed at yet another politician. Surprisingly, both shoes missed the mark. I sometimes wonder, if they were meant to hit the target at all. Then suddenly all the political parties stood up and took notice of issues which had earlier vanished into oblivion. What followed was a spate of hate speeches against individuals, parties and religious segments, stomping the entire fabric of secularism. Graves were dug up, and the issues that had been put to rest were raked up again. All for a few votes!

Media is going berserk, holding debate after debate, trying to find sense in this insanity. However, I find a little tint of political alignment despite them claiming the analysis to be impartial. For the common man who casts the vote at the polling booth, it is nothing more than a choice between the devil and the deep sea. I mean really, are we as a country, despite our claims of rapid development, that retarded as a 62 year old democracy? Can we not find one single person in this milling crowd of 1 billion people who will lead the country without thinking about personal gains? Is this the picture that we want to give the world out there? And then we still wonder why tourists come to this country looking for elephants and snake charmers on the road! That’s the picture we have given the world out there. We have told them that we’re just a bunch of clowns.

As a friend of mine often says “we have made a Mickey of ourselves” in front of the whole wide world and we are projecting ourselves as an immature nation. Someone talks about age in politics, someone else picks up demolished mosques and religion as their favourite weapon and the rest, either follow the herd or say things that will probably not make sense even to a 5 year old. Grow up!

But all said and done, I don’t know how much of an impact a piece like this is going to make because I don’t even know how many people will read it. So till it does make a difference, watch the circus and make sure you get the tickets for the front row!

Adios.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

That girl who changed me forever

To begin with, this is not what I originally planned to write about. But things so happened that at this point in time, this is the foremost thought in my mind and hence, its here! Anyone who reads this: I DO NOT WANT SYMPATHY OR TOO MUCH ADVICE. Just a genuine and heartfelt prayer will do because what I am going to write about is extremely close to my heart.

I am in love with the most marvelous woman I have known. We were together for a brief period and then things so happened that she wanted to walk out. That was over a year ago. Since then, I have prayed, cried (and I do not do that very often), lived with a hope that she will be back. I even tried ways to stop loving her but nothing would just help! She got back with the guy she was seeing earlier and then she broke up with him again and is with someone else now…or so she tells me. But yes, in my heart I believe that I will win her back. She is probably at the juncture where I was when I was her age. She is 2 and 1/2 years younger than me. I am telling you, this woman is simply wonderful and I believe that one day she will see how much I love her and understand it. But till then, the wait is what hurts. I have never really loved a woman so much and if you have known me, you would know that I am not lying about this. Do me a favour, pray for me. Please.

Thanks…