Jihad? Oh really?!

September 13, 2008. Five blasts ripped through Delhi, stunning everyone in addition to killing scores of people and injuring even more. Strategically placed at some of the most crowded spots of the city on a weekend, they were clearly designed to achieve maximum body count. All this was in addition to the three bombs that were diffused by the bomb squad.

To add to all this, the group Indian Mujahideen, which claimed responsibility for the blasts, had the audacity to send an e-mail to various agencies and claim that they did all this in the name of Allah and this was what they claimed to be jihad. I mean, get real people! Do these fanatical idiots actually think anyone in his or her right mind will believe such crappy claims?! Even before Delhi, they had targeted cities like Bangalore, Jaipur and Hyderabad. This is anything but a Holy War.
When a bomb goes off, it kills without discretion of any kind; be it race, gender, cast, creed and even religion. So much for religious motivation! These losers sound more like pseudo fanatics for whom killing is business, nothing personal. And these are the people who bring a bad name to all the people who have true faith in the same religion as these ********. Seriously, what are these buggers trying to achieve? Panic? If that is what they want then I suggest that they get the message loud and clear…we shall not chicken away from leading a normal life because we are not scared. What we will do is hunt each of them down and shoot them point blank. Taking silence to be timidity is the biggest sign of being an absolute jackass. Look, all of you “jihadis” out there, remember that we have a whole lot of people in this country who love living a normal life and if you mess around with the common man too much, you’re dead meat. Do not try to trigger a dormant volcano because the heat may be too much for you to take. Understand? What kind of cowards are these people who sneak a bomb into a place and scamper away? Little kids who have nothing whatsoever to do with any kind of a war died in these blasts or were seriously injured! I mean, these people are outright psychotic.

Trust me, the day people of this country mean business, you will have nowhere to hide. It’s just a question of time. Don’t push us too hard. You want war? We will give it to you but tell me, can you cowards face it? A lot of you, I am sure are Indians yourselves. You have grown up in these very cities that you’re now trying to destroy! What the F have you done with your conscience and humanity, you lousy buggers?! There could have been your friends, classmates, teachers and relatives among the people who died.

Get it straight. Either you mend your ways or we will do the honours for you and the day we lose our cool, we will hit you so hard at places that hurt that all of you will be reduced to mere crippled vegetables. Just for once, come up and face us if you have the you-know-what. We all await you.

Missing a heartbeat

Alive I am, yet, not quite full of life
Like everyone, I breathe too
Yet somewhere, I am missing a heartbeat
A heartbeat that’s you…

The day passes, and night settles in
Yet another date on the calendar turns
But I still miss that heartbeat
A heartbeat that’s you…

To think with my heart I am told
I am told to give my mind a rest
But how do I think with a missing heartbeat?
A heartbeat that’s you…

Somewhere in this heart, your name resonates
Calling out to you aloud, hoping you’d hear
But silence greets this missing heartbeat
A heartbeat that’s you…

I sometimes wonder if I will live
One beat less than others do
Because I just can’t find that missing heartbeat
A heartbeat that’s you…

Teachers...

In my nearly 24 years of existence, I have been through the regular grind of school and college and have seen a lot of teachers. This post is in their honour and may just read a little different from the regular gibberish that I write.

My dad has been on the move throughout his career and every change of city meant a change of place, a change of schools and a change of life. Every change of schools brought along new opportunities, new challenges and new teachers. To be very honest, I never had the chance to be in one school for too long. So I do not remember all my teachers and my apologies to the ones whose names I have forgotten, but the learning has stayed on with me and I thank them for that. In a way, moving base repeatedly is a disadvantage because it means getting used to the teaching patterns of different teachers but then, in a way is has had its own advantages because I got to know a lot of people from different parts of the country with varying mindsets and opinions.

Though, in India, Teachers’ Day is celebrated in honour of Dr. Sarvapalli Radhakrishnan, one of the foremost teachers of he country and an ex-president of India but the true honour extends to every teacher throughout the world. I have come across various kinds of teachers in my life. In my student days, I met teachers who had faith in me and saw immense potential, teachers who told me I was good for nothing, teachers who tried bringing out the best in me my sheer encouragement and teachers who thought insults were the order of the day. I won’t deny that I didn’t like all my teachers. In fact, I immensely disliked some of them but they all added to my life in their own way.

For some reason, I have always had an affinity to my English teachers, except one. I guess somewhere it was the love for the language that made me perform better in their class. My chemistry with Chemistry wasn’t explosive but it wasn’t that bad either. History was something I always got muddled up with because I could never figure out who built what, who invaded which country and when, who was born when and definitely not who died when. Coming to Physics, we were always in harmonic motion and I actually liked the subject. Though, I remember, I could never understand back then that if light traveled in a straight line, then how light bulbs did and tubelights managed to light up a whole room! I could never quite get my linear equation right with Mathematics and I remember frowning at the very sight of that subject. But as I grew from school to college, the understanding increased a little.

Some of my teachers, I remember very clearly. I remember everything from their faces to their voices because they affected my life very deeply. Some for good and the others, well, no comments. Even today, there are people who teach me something I didn’t know and I guess this process of learning and teaching just goes on for everyone. Nevertheless, the base is built by the earliest of the teachers. Having said that, I remember my mom. She taught me a lot. And after all these years, she still hasn’t quite given up on her efforts to teach me. Amazing patience! Then of course, how can I forget this strange teacher called life?! It has been at it ever since I remember. Though I do not know how fruitful it has been.

In a nutshell, the process of learning and teaching are ceaseless and all of us keep jumping from one side to the other right from the cradle to the grave. The day one stops is the day one begins to wane. So keep learning, keep teaching and keep rocking.

Adios.

New age advertising

Print advertising, TVCs and now, the web. Advertising has been exploiting avenue after avenue to surge ahead and influence consumers’’ mindsets on a very large scale. Today, advertising on the internet is catching up like a wild fire. The reach is global and the costs are much lesser. It is true that the reach of internet is not as widespread as the reach of print but it is growing rapidly. However, for every creative person in this business, print is probably the most exciting and challenging medium but the fact is that it is a still medium where a person’s vision is limited to a motionless graphic. Television and internet on the other hand can show much more. Internet has an even bigger advantage because it is far more interactive than the good old television. Besides there are a zillion blogs like this which dedicate themselves entirely to advertise and create communities of consumers, which obviously gives every consumer a feeling of fraternity and hence impacts the brand to a significant extent.
From viral campaigns to brand related games, there is everything to hold a consumer’s interest and propel him or her towards the brand for the desired effect. The latest example of this from Indian advertising is the viral cum game for Center Fresh, a bubble gum. Though legends like Ogilvy, Bernbach and Leo Burnett will always adorn the hall of fame of advertising but the truth is, the business is not that simple any more. Numerous possibilities have opened up. Talking about possibilities, outdoor advertising is another form of advertising that has found new meaning in the recent years. More than creativity, advertising is now a game of innovation and finding new media.
There is not a single aspect of a person’s life that has not been touched by this business and the influence just keeps growing. Radio is another medium that is entering the world of advertising in a big way. Standard painted billboards have been replaced by LEDs and from bus shelters to roads to mammoth building, nothing has escaped the “Brand Invasion”. Question is, is it good or bad? The answer is simple. Looking at the bigger picture, it is definitely good because it gives the brands a bigger chance to expand and creates an inspirational value that is unmatched. Though yes, looking at it with a magnifying glass, there are certain short-lived difficulties on the way. Like pressure to innovate increases manifold and properties that are hired for advertising might be a nuisance to people until they get used to it. However, I guess, we should always look at the bigger picture and enjoy the expansion and intrusion of this business into our lives.
Adios.

HELP people...

Life is strange. I mean, there are so many things that one just has to do. There is this public image one has to maintain irrespective of what’s on a person’s mind and the other face is what the people close to a person know. Like right now, I am in a phase of life where I just want to run away from everything and be with myself but then, work demands attention too! Can’t compromise on that so have to work no matter what happens. The truth is, I miss Little T. A lot of people have asked me what her actual name is but sorry, nobody gets to know that. I just lost her without too much of a chance of a return and I am upset. Very upset. But then, things are not in my hand and she doesn’t look too keen on setting things right. I miss her. I really do. And if any of is reading this blog right now, please do me a favour, please pray on my behalf. I mean, I have tried everything under the Sun that can be called fair. And I really don’t want to play unfair when it comes to her because I will not be able to bear the guilt. And if there is an all pervading power, or God, or anything such as that, then that power isn’t responding to my pleas. Maybe He/She will respond to yours. I will be really obliged. Honestly, nobody has meant this much to me ever and I really miss her. Please help me out people. Please. You know, I have never really had anyone who could ever talk to her on my behalf and me doing it myself obviously sounded very cheap. She’s very angry with me and very upset. Really counting on everyone who reads this post. Thanks a ton!

Adios.

Funny hospitals

The intrusion of doctors and scalpels in my life seems to be ceaseless. And for that, I have visited plenty of hospitals and I must say that contrary to popular belief, I have found hospitals to be pretty funny and amusing. All that one has to have is an observant eye.

My recent visit to this hospital particularly brought out the funny aspect. To begin with, I was made to sit in a freaking wheel chair. As it is, the wheel chair, needless to say, was a little too small for me and second, I felt so bloody handicapped! Now, coming to think of it, having a chauffeur driven chair wasn’t all that bad. In fact, I told the guy to speed up as we approached the operation theatre and I made sounds like a speeding bike. People staring at me must have thought I was headed in for a brain surgery to fix the wiring inside. Some even looked at me sympathetically!

Then once I reached the cutting up room (a.k.a. OT), I was told to change into the hospital uniform which looked more like an ill fitting space suit! And once again, neither did they have a uniform nor shoes my size. Now, I looked hilarious!

Oh! And did I tell you about the weighing machine? There is this monstrous (in comparative terms) weighing machine put right in the middle of the hospital which looks like it had been originally made to weigh elephants. And some people who hopped on it in fact were pretty close in terms of their weight. The highest was a man who weighed 250 kgs! Sheesh…that’s 2 and a half quintals!

Now I shall come to what happened in the OT. To begin with, the stretcher was a little too small as usual. And to add to that, the doc was talking on the phone! I mean, come on, there should be some law against doctors talking on the phone in the middle of a damned surgery.

Another thing I have noticed is that sometimes, people really try to put up a sad face when at a hospital, no matter how serious the ailment is. Like even if people have come in for a cold and flu, they have an expression like they are suffering from a terminal disease. I on the other keep grinning even in the face of surgeries. But then, I am crazy I guess.

Anyway, I am pretty bored of writing now. So I am signing off.

Adios.

A word of caution!

After all this while in the world of advertising, here are some observations:

First of all, every advertising agency should put a board of statutory warning outside their offices which reads: “People with any semblance of sanity, please do not step in”. Like those signboards which hold the owners responsible for their cars parked in the parking lot.

Just in case some “maverick” ignores the board and decides to enter, do not be surprised if you find a paper ball crashing into your head out of the blue. It’s probably the creative team indulging in paper ball warfare. (See?! That’s why one should pay heed to signboards!)
At saner times, you might just find the people playing cricket. So please be careful not to step into the “ground”.

Second, a sincere word of advice: please do not come in at lunch time because it will probably make you feel that all the refugees of the world have just migrated to India. Sometimes I think that maybe even the chicken on the plate probably curses its luck for having ended up on that plate! It is like a pack of wolves devouring a prey (damn! It reminds me of an account I am working on)! And people in advertising can be found eating at all times. Especially the creative lot. We call it “FOOD for THOUGHT”. When it comes to food, we forget all cast, creed and various other biases…

Third. Either carry ear muffs or be prepared to hear a volley of the choicest of abuses being hurled from all corners of the office. They may not be targeted at you but they will get into your ears nevertheless. And if you’re IN advertising, please keep quiet while you have parents and elders around because you never know what slips out! And…err…that may not be the most comfortable of situations.

There are a lot of other precautions as well but as long you keep these three rules in mind, you will not need the rest. If however, you ignore these rules, then you deserve what you get to hear and see. So I won’t tell you the other rules anyway. If you still have the guts to step in, welcome. And…all the best!

Adios.