(As I have already told you, my constant inspiration has been Little T. So here is yet another piece inspired by her. What would I do without you princess?)
One afternoon, Little T and me, we were walking down the road. We had no particular destination. Now, both of us have an amazing tendency to observe strange things. So when we came upon a garbage dump, it wasn’t very difficult to miss that sight.
On a torn couch, there was a street dog, sitting like it was his throne and he was the king. He looked around at people walking to and fro. I walked up to him to have a conversation. And this is what it turned out to be like…
Me: Hey fella! What’s up in life?
Dog: My name is Bow Wow. Show some respect!
Me: Oh I am sorry. So, how has your day been so far Bow Wow?
Dog: Not so bright, actually. I woke up from sleep rather early this morning. Around noon I guess. Since then I have been doing this and that. So a little tired. And just as I was planning to begin my siesta, you dropped by. Woof!
Me: But what have you done that has tired you out so much? I mean, it’s barely been four hours since you woke up!
Dog: You humans never understand! And that’s precisely why you’re all so primitive! All that you can think is that working is what tires one out. That maybe true for less evolved beings like you. But I have higher goals to pursue. Look at those pretty females over there? The mating season’s approaching. Do you have any idea how much stress that is?! There is so much competition! So ensure my girlfriend didn’t go tail in tail with another dog, I had to go all the way to Sugar N Spice to get her favorite butterscotch pastries. Though, yes, I made a cute face and managed to get a pretty big piece. But have you ever considered the distance?! It’s more than fifty steps away. So that makes it at least a hundred steps to and fro…plus I haven’t really had much to eat in the day, besides that packet of bourbon biscuits and six pieces of chicken. I didn’t even have a proper dessert. That kid I met was such a miser, he gave me just half the chocolate!
Me: Pardon me, but it doesn’t sound like very hard work to me. I mean, that’s hardly any work at all.
Dog: See? That’s why I said you humans are primitive. I mean, work does go beyond office, you know. Look at me. I am sitting on this couch cause my girlfriend liked it and I can’t let any other dog take possession of it and impress her before I do! So I have to sit here and stare at all you strange two legged creatures. Do you have any clue about how much energy it takes to keep moving my head from side to side? I would rather sleep and conserve energy. See…that’s why I said that you humans are stupid. You don’t understand how important it is to save energy. C’mon, move on now, I got work to do. I have to guard this couch for my beloved otherwise she will be mad at me!
So I left Bow Wow alone and continued on my walk with Little T. But now, as I am sitting in my office at 2 in the morning, I have realized two things. First, I would rather be a dog. Trust me, sitting on the couch guarding it for Little T is much more worthwhile than slogging it out in the office. Second, across all species, human or animal, one universal truth prevails. When a guy is in love, he is ready to go to any length to impress his girl and make her feel special. At least, I do. Are you listening Little T?
Anyway, I got to get back to work, cause unfortunately, I don’t have a dog’s life.
Adios.